


and i find it kinda funny (i find it kinda sad)

by inamamagic



Category: All For One (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Mild spoilers for 1x23
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 13:52:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6756793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inamamagic/pseuds/inamamagic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Portia and Ariana meet up for coffee. As friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and i find it kinda funny (i find it kinda sad)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Mad World' – Gary Jules and Michael Andrews
> 
> Un beta-ed.

When Ariana’s phone dings and she sees that it’s from Portia, she assumes it’s just another text about the mission.

Even so, her heart begins to drum a tattoo as she picks up the phone to read it. What she sees makes her stomach leap.

_Coffee? As friends?_

Her first instinct is to type, _sure babe, c u in 5 <3 :*_

Her fingers are halfway to the keypad before she realises she can’t do that anymore.

The word ‘friends’ seems to grow on the screen until takes over her entire field of vision. She blinks, and realises that her eyes are stinging with tears. Angry at herself and at the text and at everything, she rubs her eyes hard.

What’s worse is realising that Portia is no longer typing in text slang. The message feels completely cold and alien, and Ariana’s heart feels like it has frozen and shattered.

She lets out a frustrated grunt, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to suppress the memories that seem to delight in popping back up at the worst moments.

Unsuccessful. The memories engulf her anyway.

*****

It’s been about two months since Ariana and Portia became an official couple, and they’re spending the weekend apart for the first time in weeks. Portia’s at dinner with family friends, which means all she can do is text Ariana until it’s over and she can get on Skype.

She picks up her phone as it dings again.

_omg can’t believe they dnt hav dessert!!!!_

_i mean_

_who dsnt hav dessert??????!!!_

_wat kinda sad ppl dnt hav dessert????!!_

_:’( :’( :’(_

Ariana chuckles. As distressed as Portia is, she is _so_ cute.

_No worries babe. When you come back, you can have all the dessert you want. Brownies, cupcakes, and of course, your favourite… ;) ;)_

Portia’s reply is instantaneous.

_nw ur making me hungry!!_

_:’( :’(_

Ariana snorts.

_Patience, sweetheart. You’ll be home soon._

_sjkdnjsdnsdmg sfgj D:_

_Alright, how about this? Pretty Petals Cakes delivers to your place right? How about I order you a box of cupcakes and have them get there by the time you get home?_

Her phone almost blows up as it dings continuously, and Ariana has to turn her ringer off. She leans back on the couch and smiles when she sees the messages.

_omg_

_omg_

_r u srs??_

_R U 4 REAL?????_

_BEST BEST GF EVERRRR OMGGGGGGG_

_wait… i sense a catch…_

_ria…_

Ariana throws her head back and laughs as she types back.

_Phrase your texts properly._

Her phone dings angrily. 

_omg OMG_

_i KNEW u’d say that_

_4 ur information i can type just fine_

Ariana rolls her eyes. Her cheeks are starting to hurt from smiling.

_But you aren’t._

Portia's reply is lightning fast.

_idgaffff_

_idgaf_

Ariana shoots back.

_No dessert for you._

Portia takes a little longer to respond. Ariana supposes she got caught in conversation, and yawns and stretches out a little whilst she waits for a response.

_riaaa D:_

_anyway, my typing is totes rubbing off on u_

Ariana raises an eyebrow.

_Is not. Look. Perfect punctuation._

Portia takes a little while to reply. Ariana taps her fingers on her laptop as she waits. When her phone dings again, she looks at it. Portia has sent her a screenshot captioned “ _c?"_  The conversation reads:

 **_Me:_ ** _hey wanna go 4 brownies_

 **_Riabear <3:_ ** _always :* c u in 5_

Ariana groans and puts a hand over her face. She’s glad Portia isn’t there in person.

_Fine. You win._

She can see Portia's happy smile as she reads her response.

_ill b expecting the cupcakes <3_

*****

Not going would be just as painful. Ariana would much rather have Portia as her friend than not at all. Even though she’s apologised and Portia’s forgiven her for everything, it’s still weird. It still doesn’t change the fact that they’re broken up, and that everything is bleak and awful.

She glances at the screen again. With a long sigh, she finally types.

_Sure. Where do you want to go? And what time?_

Pressing send, she stares at her phone, wondering how long it will take for Portia to reply.

That was another thing that took a while to get used to. When she and Portia began to speak again (for mission purposes only, of course), Portia’s replies were always spaced out and slow. Even when they’d made plans to meet up to talk things through, relationship-wise, her responses had taken a while.

The Portia that Ariana has always known is always an instant text responder. Not just to Ariana, but to everyone she talks to. In her own words, “it’s rude to make them wait!”

The wait is short but unbearable. Ariana feels as though her insides are being pushed through a pasta maker. She bites her lip and tries to stretch, hoping that the movement will allow her tension to dissipate.

No such luck.

Portia finally responds and Ariana pounces on her phone in her haste to read it.

_Anesis Café’s having their promo again. Would you like to go there? I’m free tomorrow around five._

Each word is like a knife right through Ariana’s gut. Sighing, she types in her response.

_Sure. Sounds great._

*****

The first time Ariana and Portia had ever set foot in Anesis Café was whilst they were having a promotion. In fact, it was the only reason why they’d gone in there in the first place. With barely ten dollars between them, five dollars for two coffees and a slice of brownie is the best deal they’ve ever seen in their life.

The coffees end up being tiny, and the slice of brownie can more accurately be described as a sliver, but with Portia as her date, Ariana wouldn’t have cared if she were starving. They’re sitting in a booth at the very back of the café, which is mostly deserted. Ariana is thankful for this, because it means she can snuggle closer to Portia and hold her hand under the table.

“So much for a promotion,” laughs Portia, her eyes twinkling as she holds up the cup of coffee. “I could barely taste anything.”

“You can have the rest of the brownie,” says Ariana, unable to take her eyes off Portia. Her hair is curling in a really pretty way today, and she has on a really cute blouse that make her eyes look greener than usual, and there’s an adorable pink flush in her cheeks from the cold wind outside…

“Ria?” asks Portia, waving in front of Ariana’s face.

“Huh, what?”

“I said, you haven’t even eaten any of it.”

“Oh it’s okay, I already ate,” says Ariana, assuming a bright smile and continuing to stare at Portia, who giggles.

“No…” she says. “You were with me all day, remember? I know you haven’t eaten.”

“Oh okay, well, I’ll eat when I go home then,” says Ariana quickly. Portia laughs. The corners of her eyes crinkle up as they sparkle. It’s almost like she’s glowing.

“Ria…”

“Portia…” says Ariana. Portia smiles wider, her nose scrunching up in that cute way that Ariana absolutely cannot resist.

She puts a hand on Portia’s thigh and gives her a brisk kiss on the cheek, breathing in her strawberry smell and sighing happily.

Portia blushes and giggles again. “You should seriously have the brownie,” she says.

“No you have it,” says Ariana. Portia laughs.

“No, you.”

“No, you.”

“No, y –” Portia squeals as Ariana takes the brownie and puts the whole thing in her mouth before she can protest. “That’ff no’ fair,” she says through her mouthful.

“Life isn’t fair, babe,” says Ariana with a smile. “But as long as you’re winning, I’m happy.”

*****

They meet in front of the café’.

Portia’s wearing a cream blouse with a grey skirt and a pink bow in her hair. Ariana notes the lack of colour, filing it away in the part of her brain that is reserved for the storage of Portia-related information. It’s a part she now keeps locked at all times.

“Well,” says Portia with wide smile, although it doesn’t quite extend to her eyes. “Shall we?”

Ariana tilts her head in agreement and follows Portia inside without a word. The place is pretty packed, and they have to squeeze their way to the back to find an empty table.

Luckily, all the booths are taken. Ariana doesn’t think she would have been able to take sitting on the same seat as Portia. A whole chair for herself is just fine.

“Do you want the promo stuff, or just regular coffee?” asks Portia. Ariana shrugs.

“Whatever’s good is fine with me,” she says.

Portia orders the promo. Ariana is scared to read too much into it. Perhaps Portia’s just broke again. Besides, it’s not like Ariana has much cash to burn either, so really, spending 3.5 dollars is totally okay, even if it means she doesn’t to eat anything, because it’s not like she _can_ eat with Portia in front of her – but then again, she hasn’t really been able to eat very much lately…

“Ariana,” says Portia. “Plain chocolate, or with almonds?”

“You know it’s always chocolate, babe,” says Ariana without thinking. Portia freezes, and Ariana’s own words register in her head.

“Uh – chocolate’s fine… yeah, whatever,” she says, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair, trying to look nonchalant. Even so, her face is on fire. There’s a flush growing in Portia’s cheeks as she hands the menu back to the waitress.

“So,” says Portia, clasping her hands and placing them on the table. “How’ve you been?”

Ariana notices that she’s gotten a manicure, and that she has a new bracelet on her wrist.

“Uh, well, you know,” she says, shrugging. “Same old.”

Portia nods. “Yeah,” she says. “Same with me I guess.”

The noise levels in the café rise as the silence between them grows. Ariana racks her brain for something to talk about, trying really hard not to stare at Portia’s face, or shoulders, or her chest, or arms, or hands, or any part of her body, really.

Hmm. Exams are coming up. Maybe she can talk about that.

“So how’s the –”

“The whole thing with –”

Ariana raises her eyes to look at Portia, who smiles slightly.

“You go first,” she says. Ariana shakes her head.

“No, you can go,” she says. Portia nods and takes a deep breath.

“I was just gonna say… the whole thing with the mission and all… um… thanks for cooperating, I guess? I dunno.”

Ariana feels an odd sense of numbness spreading over her hands, down her arms, and towards her chest.

“It’s really not about cooperating,” she says finally. “I can work with pretty much anyone, you know?”

“That’s not what I meant,” says Portia.

“Yeah,” she says. “It’s okay. Sorry.”

Both of them lapse into silence again. Ariana picks at a paper napkin, whilst Portia taps a nail on the table. Ariana can’t help but glance at her finger, wanting so badly to just reach out and touch her –

“So what were you gonna say?” asks Portia.

“Huh? Oh, uh…” Ariana frowns, trying to remember. “I forgot.”

“Oh.”

Silence again. Ariana stares at the table until everything on it blurs into one big mass of colour, and she can no longer distinguish between the wood, the cutlery, or the napkin dispenser.

“It’s been pretty cold out huh?” says Portia. “Like weirdly cold?”

“Oh yeah, yeah it has,” says Ariana. “It’s weird.”

The weather. They are talking about _the weather_.

God, how pathetic can this get?

“Maybe it’ll go away soon,” says Portia. “The cold, I mean. Like, maybe it’s just a weird climate change thing.”

“Mmhmm,” says Ariana, balling up her fists as she struggles not to stand up and storm right out of the café. She cannot believe that things have gotten this bad between them that they have to resort to talking about the freaking _weather_.

When the coffee arrives, it’s almost a relief. Ariana finishes hers in two swallows. Portia sips hers, glancing at the brownie. Her eyes look greener today, but there’s tension in them. Ariana knows that they’re both wondering the same thing.

“So…” says Portia, putting her cup down on the equally tiny saucer. Ariana notices a bit of foam on the side of Portia’s top lip, and finds to her chagrin that she cannot pull her eyes away. Her treacherous mind conjures up a series of painful images; Ariana wiping off the foam with her finger and licking it; Ariana licking off the foam with her tongue; Ariana kissing Portia…

Before she can mention it, Portia has already picked up a napkin and wiped her own mouth. Staring at the brownie again, she looks at Ariana, who tries to maintain eye contact.

“I guess we’ll just slice it in half then,” she says.

“That’s cool,” says Ariana.

Portia reaches for the brownie at the same time as Ariana does. Their fingers brush together, and Ariana feels a tingle that shoots all the way from her fingers, down to her spine. She withdraws her hand immediately.

Portia’s face is bright red. Neither one of them say anything for a moment, but the longer Ariana sits there, the more she realises she can’t handle it.

“I just remembered, I’ve gotta…” she says, gesturing aimlessly as she reaches for her wallet. Fishing out a ten-dollar bill, she puts it under her saucer. “Here. Thanks for today.”

“You don’t want the brownie?” asks Portia.

Ariana almost smiles.

“You should have it,” she says. Portia looks worried.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” says Ariana, hoisting her backpack up and swinging it over her shoulder. Her voice feels rusty and her throat hurts all of a sudden. “It’s okay. I already ate.”

And with that, she rushes out of the café before Portia can see her cry.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish writing my Cold War essay was as easy as this :/ 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading :) please do let me know if there are any errors in the text. Like I mentioned above, it’s un beta-ed (I’m just looking for excuses to procrastinate)


End file.
